This past week has been a turbulent, distraught, and difficult time for some. Saying your final goodbyes to your loved ones is never easy. Neither is trying to save the world from mad scientists a la James Bond.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/29/science/29collider.html?pagewanted=1&_r=2.
But, for the rest of the world, it was just another week, with just a memorial service for the folks at 9/11. What happened to the end of the world?
Our perceptions color our reality, and for those who perceived the end of the world, it was probably a harrowing escape. And for those of us that didn’t, well... I know I had a crappy quiz over the weekend that I thought signaled the end of my world.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/article4727903.ece
But for this girl, the threat was reality, due to her perception of it being so.
Perception occurs automatically, sometimes without control. When you were reading about those articles on the end of the world, what reality did you perceive?
But how does perception affect our communication?
I was from an all Chinese school, so my contact with the other races had been limited. When I went to college, I was introduced to my Indian project group member. Having been exposed to some rather nasty racial stereotypes, and not really having any experiences with our racial neighbors, my perception of Indians was rather negative.
For our first few meetings and discussions I was rather antisocial, refusing to speak to him unless necessary, and even then only what was required. But after some time, I noticed the positives about him, and began to interact with him. I became more open, and communicated comfortably with him. That was how my perception of a group member affected how I communicated and worked with him.
Do you have similar experiences? Share them!
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Verbal vs Non-Verbal: Why sometimes its not a question of which to use.
2 situations to ponder about:
1. a couple quarreling on the streets, yelling and screaming at each other.
2. same couple, arms folded across their chests, walking an arms length apart, looking in separate directions.
Anyone who sees them in either situation would be able to tell you straight away, they are fighting. What about? Your guess is as good as mine, but they're definitely not in the best of moods.
Both situations are examples of communication, but why is neither effective? In situation 1, both parties are obviously trying to get their point across.. but neither is getting the message. In situation 2, now they are using their bodies to communicate their unhappiness to the other. Again, neither of them is paying attention.
I believe that there had to be something that was preventing them from being effective at communication. And that something is called NOISE. Not just physical sounds that drown out their screams and thoughts, but NOISE - physical, mental and (more importantly) emotional.
Noise is that which distracts, distorts or even blocks out the message that is being sent to you. A physical sound could draw your attention away from the speaker. A mental prejudice could distort the meaning of a comment. And your emotional status could very well shut out everything else.
Now, this couple is obviously in the most heated throes of an argument. Emotionally, neither is able to accept a negative statement. Mentally, they distort every comment directed at them into something that is the original intent. It is a situation I'm sure we've all experienced. They can only wait until they've cooled down before they can settle the issue.
And that is the moment that is ideal for communication. When noise is at a minimum, so that it cannot distort or block out the original meaning of a message, such that it can be communicated to its receiver, with the intent whole. Successful communication.
Anyway, after my girlfriend and I cooled down, I had a good talk with her about this, and we decided that if we got into another argument, we'd both wait until we cooled down before we talked it over.
share your comments and similar experiences. it'd definitely be useful for me. =)
1. a couple quarreling on the streets, yelling and screaming at each other.
2. same couple, arms folded across their chests, walking an arms length apart, looking in separate directions.
Anyone who sees them in either situation would be able to tell you straight away, they are fighting. What about? Your guess is as good as mine, but they're definitely not in the best of moods.
Both situations are examples of communication, but why is neither effective? In situation 1, both parties are obviously trying to get their point across.. but neither is getting the message. In situation 2, now they are using their bodies to communicate their unhappiness to the other. Again, neither of them is paying attention.
I believe that there had to be something that was preventing them from being effective at communication. And that something is called NOISE. Not just physical sounds that drown out their screams and thoughts, but NOISE - physical, mental and (more importantly) emotional.
Noise is that which distracts, distorts or even blocks out the message that is being sent to you. A physical sound could draw your attention away from the speaker. A mental prejudice could distort the meaning of a comment. And your emotional status could very well shut out everything else.
Now, this couple is obviously in the most heated throes of an argument. Emotionally, neither is able to accept a negative statement. Mentally, they distort every comment directed at them into something that is the original intent. It is a situation I'm sure we've all experienced. They can only wait until they've cooled down before they can settle the issue.
And that is the moment that is ideal for communication. When noise is at a minimum, so that it cannot distort or block out the original meaning of a message, such that it can be communicated to its receiver, with the intent whole. Successful communication.
Anyway, after my girlfriend and I cooled down, I had a good talk with her about this, and we decided that if we got into another argument, we'd both wait until we cooled down before we talked it over.
share your comments and similar experiences. it'd definitely be useful for me. =)
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